Final Exam

[jackwabbit]

I wrote fic!  And I'm posting it over here (blame terimaru  for that...)

(For anyone who cares and doesn't already know, my fic generally only goes on ff.net, because I simply don't have time or inclination to post it here or to FFF.net or anywhere else at the moment.  And I'm ok with that.  Anyway...off we go.  Thanks to teri for letting me play in her fishbowl.)

Final Exam
Author: jackwabbit
Fandom: Firefly
Rated: PG-13
Category: Gen, Drabble, Character Death, FutureFic, SushiFic Related-but not precisely in timeline and not a true SushiFic, as there is character death. Can stand alone. They just sparked my muse.
Spoilers: None, excepting the Sushi notes below.
Note: This fic will make much more sense if you’ve read terimaru’s story A Little Gem of Innocence, in the Sushi series. ( http://community.livejournal.com/sushi_fic/10604.html#cutid1 ) All you need to know, though, is that Mal and Inara have two children in the series, and Mal teaches the older one, a girl of seven, to shoot in order to protect her baby brother and her family if need be.  This ain't a happy one, folks.

XXX

They’d sent two, when Inara was out.

A chest shot dispatched one.

But the second had swung round behind, and Mal missed him.

Mal heard only a chuckle before the second man’s bullet found something important.

Blood stained the floor and Mal had just one thought as steps retreated from him.

The children.

Mal heard a report, then felt a body land hard beside him.

A baby screamed.

Suddenly, a young girl was beside him, smoking gun and bellowing baby in her arms.

Mal grinned and spoke the last words the two would ever hear from their father.

“Good girl.”

Comments

[charlie-bz.livejournal.com]

Not happy, you say? Why it's a sweet little tale if you replace the word "last" for "fluffiest" which is what I've done. And change "blood" to "chocolate." No tears here!

Please tell me that isn't Inara who lands next to him! 'Cause I'm thinking you just made those two kids orphans. No, it's the other guy. You've sort of sent me into a panic.

Despite the staggering sadness, this is very good. Once again, with your economy of words you've managed to create a very vivid, poignant scene. A scene that's depressed the hell out of me (actually, I guess that would be good?). Thanks. Thanks a lot.

[buzybee06.livejournal.com]

Hey, that is pretty good for 100 words. almost poetic.

can you do it as a hiku? hehe.

[terimaru.livejournal.com]

I love the haiku. :)