jackwabbit | New Fic: Uncanny

Uncanny

Fandom: Star Trek Discovery
Rated: G
Category: Vignette. Crew Fic. With a Side of Culmets. Humor.
Word Count: 968.
Season: Three or Later.
Spoilers: General Series Knowledge Only. RENT knowledge too.
Summary: Saru holds another movie night. This one leads to burning questions for the crew.
Note: Written in response to this tweet, because why wouldn’t I help a stranger on the internet out? This one’s for you, Aaron. Only fair since you gave me the idea.

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It was another period piece.

But this one was no comedy.

In fact, Saru was a bit baffled as to why the sphere had suggested it. But Tilly had said it was a good choice – something about how she’d heard this one was still in production somewhere, whatever that meant – so he’d just gone along with it. After all, what did a Kelpien know about these things?

Now, though, he wasn’t sure. It was terribly depressing, even with the jaunty dance numbers.

Granted, that was due to the era in which it was set – disease had been rampant, with death so easy to come by, and prejudice even more so. And Saru did respect the historical accuracy. Still, this wasn’t exactly his idea of entertainment.

So he found himself glancing around the room, gauging his crew’s reactions, to see if his misgivings were valid. And there were some who seemed as concerned as he was, to be sure. But mostly, he saw interest and emotion befitting what was on screen – along with a more than a few furtive glances toward Discovery’s resident astromycologist.

Saru’s gaze followed the looks, and that’s when he gave up trying to understand anything about what was happening with this particular movie.

Because Doctor Culber, sitting next to his partner and catching Saru’s eye first, looked like he was about to burst from restrained laughter. He was leaning back in his chair, arms crossed over his stomach, with unshed tears in his eyes and the most smug grin imaginable on his face.

This was not the reaction Saru expected from a man of medicine – Saru glanced back at the screen – especially not when someone was literally dying in the movie.

Saru looked back at Hugh, and the doctor’s expression was unchanged. If anything, he looked even more amused. Saru was beyond baffled now. He looked back and forth from the doctor to the screen a few more times. And suddenly, he got it.

The dying person. They looked like… Doctor Culber?

Saru looked one more time and yes, it was there. A vague resemblance.

The doctor took that moment to lean over and whisper something in his partner’s ear.

And with that motion, Saru’s attention was drawn to Stamets, and the Kelpien’s eyes widened as he took in the state of the scientist.

Paul was also leaning back in his chair, also with arms crossed, but his demeanor gave his posture a whole different meaning from Hugh’s. Because his arms were much higher up on his chest, and he wasn’t even close to smiling. In fact, he was glaring. He looked like a petulant child, forced to watch an educational video instead of a favorite holo. He was staring at the screen from under lowered brows, and if Saru was confused before, now he was positively flummoxed. Surely Doctor Culber wouldn’t find something that so aggravated Commander Stamets so funny? Would he?

Paul’s head turned to Hugh when the doctor spoke to him, making the doctor the focus of his glare.

He said something in response, and his expression took on a hint of warning.

That only made Hugh’s grin grow. He said something back, then lightly kissed Paul on the cheek before leaning back into his chair again.

Paul’s only response was to roll his eyes, and his sigh was obvious even with Saru’s distance.

Then Paul turned back to the screen, glare gone and a resigned expression on his face.

As he did, Saru saw him in profile, and in that moment, everything finally made sense.

Saru looked back at the screen. The blond character was back. The nerdy one obsessed with his film.

Oh, thought Saru. Oh. There’s certainly nothing vague there.

And a grin matching Doctor Culber’s slowly spread across the Kelpien’s face as he sent his own furtive glance back at the Commander.

No one else seemed to be paying him any attention just then (there was a funeral on screen, after all), but Saru had a feeling that that would change soon.

And he was right. The movie ended not long after his revelation, and while some of the crew broke up and headed back to their quarters, a good number of people lingered to finish off the snacks on the tables in the wings and chat.

Saru did the same, wandering from group to group. As he approached his helmsman, first officer, and ops officer, he paused.

“It’s uncanny,” he heard Detmer say.

“A little older, is all,” answered Owo.

Tilly giggled. “Oh my God, you guys. You know they still do this one sometimes in those retro theater places, right? Or… they did, anyway. I mean, before. What if he actually did it when he was younger?”

Owo gaped at her. “No.”

“You can’t be serious,” agreed Detmer. “Stamets? In a musical?”

Tilly shrugged. “Stranger things have happened.”

Saru took that moment to join the conversation.

“On this ship, that is certainly true,” he said, inclining his head toward the group.

Everyone laughed, and Saru concluded that the movie had been a good choice after all.

Because despite its serious subject matter, the crew seemed in good spirits, and while he knew they’d try to be discreet, Saru was also knew that Stamets would never hear the end of this until the crew got an answer to their newfound question.

And he was absolutely certain that he’d enjoy trying to figure it out right along with them.

It really was a pity that their efforts would be in vain.

Because no one had heard the brief conversation between Paul and Hugh earlier.

So no one knew that the only person who could confirm or deny the issue had just agreed to stay silent on it for the measly price of a month’s worth of laundry duty.