jackwabbit | New Fic: Counterpoint

Counterpoint

Fandom: Star Trek Discovery
Rated: G
Category: Double drabble. Angst. Hugh Culber Focus.
Season: Post-Two, Pre-Three.
Spoilers: Entire Hugh Culber arc through the end of season two.
Summary: A medal. Why did it have to be a medal, of all things?
Note: This is the opposing view to the earlier chapter “Point.”

Also, this is part of the "I Rang The Bell With My Heart In My Mouth" series, and stories in this series are presented as inspiration strikes, not chronologically. See notes above for timeframe/related stories.

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“What do you want, a medal?”

Hugh can hear Paul’s words, flung at him years ago.

They’d had one of those fights.

One that the brain dredges up on bad nights no matter how much time has passed.

Hugh remembered it vividly.

He’d been careless. He’d hurt Paul. Badly. He’d realized it nearly as soon as he’d done it, and he’d apologized, but Paul hadn’t been ready for that.

Paul had scoffed, and his derisive snort had been enough to make Hugh retaliate – to point out that an apology should count for something.

That had earned Hugh a glare and the sarcasm that haunted him now.

It had gotten ugly then. But fortunately, no permanent damage was done. They’d reconciled in time, and Hugh had been grateful, even if he’d felt undeserving.

Just like he felt now.

As he sat on a bed that wasn’t his, a literal medal in his hand, he wanted to cry.

Not for himself. Not for his mother. But for Paul.

Paul, who had suffered so much – first at the hands of Lorca, then Voq, and then by Hugh’s own actions.

“I’m so sorry,” Hugh whispered.

And just as before, it was nowhere near enough.